How to discuss race with our children
Conversations about ethnicity and diversity are never easy. But, children are able to notice racial tensions in their community from a young age. In fact, by the age of 3, kids can communicate racial preferences and discriminatory behaviors. So, it is important to start these difficult conversations and introduce the concept of justice from an early age. STORYSKIMO has organized a couple of questions that we thought would be helpful in sparking and guiding your discussions.
What does diversity mean?
Compare it to something easier to understand
e.g. "there isn't just one type of tree or car"
Discuss the differences that makes all of us unique
e.g. "Instead, there are many different colors, sizes, and ages. Just like that, people are different as well. People have different skin, hair, and eye colors. The sizes and shapes of our bodies can vary as well. Out of the billions of people on the planet, each one of us are different and unique"
Remember, do not use words that imply a rank (e.g. "more common", "better", "weaker")
What does diversity look like?
Similar to before, try to use examples
e.g. "like at your school, there are people from different cultures with different beliefs. That sense of uniqueness is what we should all strive to uphold"
Make sure you discuss that diversity doesn't need to be physical. It can also be composed of people with different:
languages
religions
beliefs
food
traditions
schools
jobs
Where can diversity be found?
Don't make it seem like diversity is a goal that is impossible to reach. Instead, discuss how there are several examples of diversity, even in your very own neighborhood.
Why do we use colors to describe people?
Discuss how this method, for many, was the easiest way to group people groups
"People find it easy to organize people into three groups: white, brown, and black. Of course, not everyone fits into these categories, and that is okay. We should, instead, use characteristics like nationality, culture, and occupation, to describe diversity"
How does diversity happen?
Discuss what the world used to be like
e.g. "back in the day, people were born, lived, and died in the same country. People in the similar regions, tended to look the same, dress the same, and often believed in the same tradition
Discuss what the world is like now
e.g. "but now, people travel all around the world to find their home. When people move to different countries, they bring their food, culture, religion, and art with them. This allows a community to be diverse"
Why does diversity matter?
Just be honest here... why do you want diversity?
e.g. so that we can learn about other cultures, so that we can share our differences, so that we become an empathetic society
Try to make the conversation relatable to children
e.g. so that we can get more games to play with, so that we can read more books
Why are people against diversity?
This conversation is often the most sensitive. Here are some sample phrases you can use to reduce the tension. "Some people…
…are afraid of change"
…want everyone to the same as themselves"
…don't want to accept that people can have different beliefs"
Along with these questions, try to address five crucial terms - race, racism, institutional racism, white privilege, and an ally. According to "Teaching for diversity and social justice: A sourcebook",
race is "a social construct artificially divides people into distinct groups based on certain characteristics such as physical appearance (particularly skin colour) ancestral heritage, cultural affiliation, cultural history, ethnic classification.”
racism is "the systemic subordination of members of targeted racial groups who have relatively little social power [...] by the members of the agent racial group who have relatively more social power [...] This subordination is supported by the actions of individuals, cultural norms and values, and the institutional structures and practices of society.”
institutional racism is "the network of institutional structures, policies, and practices that create advantages and benefits for Whites, and discrimination, oppression, and disadvantage for people from targeted racial groups. The advantages created for Whites are often invisible to them. Or are considered 'rights’ available to everyone as opposed to 'privileges' awarded to only some individuals and groups.”
white privilege is "the concrete benefits of access to resources and social rewards and the power to shape the norms and values of society which Whites receive, unconsciously and consciously, by virtue of their skin colour in a racist society.”
an ally is "a white person who actively works to eliminate racism. This person may be motivated by self-interest in ending racism, a sense of moral obligation, or a commitment to foster social justice.”
These definitions can feel a bit complicated and overwhelming, so we should try to rephrase them using topics our child is interested in (e.g., music, theatre, math).
It is quite challenging to explain these complex ideas in simple terms to anyone, especially to children. But, this progress is vital in fights like #blacklivesmatter. Avoiding conversations on race can cause children to feel more frustrated. Let’s try our best to respond calmly, providing simple points of discussion along the way with a reflection at the end. It is essential that, as role models, we encourage our family to understand our identity as well as celebrate differences. Introduce new cultures to our home through food, literature, and entertainment. Diversity should become the new "normal" for children, encouraging them to make friends beyond their usual circle.
Remember, like Abraham Lincoln once said, "actions speak louder than words." Let’s make sure we focus on not only what our children say but also what they do! We should be their example for inclusivity. Good luck to us all!
We hope you found this blog useful! Also, please do check out our blog where we gathered a list of amazing anti-racism resources for you to listen to with your children here !
Sources:
https://www.seattletimes.com/opinion/how-white-families-with-young-children-can-undo-racism/
https://www.unicef.org/parenting/talking-to-your-kids-about-racism
https://www.vanderbilt.edu/oacs/wp-content/uploads/sites/140/Key-Terms-Racism.pdf